The greatest invention is not the straw
by Luftslott
Summary: "WAIT!" Lisa said, grabbing hold of Hiyori's shirt. "Just cause you're not getting any doesn't mean you can avoid the conversation."  "I am too getting some!" Hiyori said, blushing furiously.  "Yeah, you're getting more and more and more years of sexual frustration," Mashiro replied in a cheerful tone.


This little silly story is rated teen for sexual innuendos and for language.

Implied Hiyori/Shinji and Dream!Kensei/Mashiro. Some characters are acting OOC, and I am well aware of that.

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**The greatest invention is not the straw**

"BWWWAAAAAAHHHHAAAHAAA!" Lisa scream-laughed.

As tears formed in the corners of her eyes she looked over at Hiyori who was in her turn looking at Mashiro in pure disbelief. They had clearly needed this girls night out and this small pub was perfect for discussions of all and any kind of topics. Even the most confidential ones.

The room was far from crowded this Thursday night and the girls had gotten a table in a secluded corner where they could get all the privacy they could possibly wish for.

"Ya serious?" Hiyori stated sceptically.

"Yep," Mashiro confirmed. "Heard it from Ichi himself. He said _all _the shinigamis had been amazed over the _straws_."

"That's lame," the young looking blonde said.

"Lame?" Lisa questioned. "You mean that it's hilarious, right? They thought the _straw _was the_ greatest_ invention that had happened since the last time they were here?"

"Yup," Mashiro commented. "When in fact it's clearly the flavored gum. Right?"

"Gum?" Hiyori said with a crooked smile. "I say it's the… the… I dunno… the cellphone?"

"No way!" Lisa snickered before continuing in her most dramatical voice: "It got to be… the _vibrator_."

"Hmmm... Didn't think of that~" said Mashiro dreamingly.

"If you're gonna talk sex, I'm gettin' a drink," Hiyori stated. "Anything you want?"

" A _Sex on the beach_," Mashiro said seductively. "...I love that name."

"Like hell I'll order that," Hiyori coughed but started walking toward the bar anyhow.

"WAIT!" Lisa said, grabbing hold of Hiyori's shirt. "Just cause you're not getting any doesn't mean you can avoid the conversation."

"I am too getting some!" Hiyori said, blushing furiously.

"Yeah, you're getting _more and more and more _years of sexual frustration," Mashiro replied in a cheerful tone.

"Shut up!"

"Just face the violins already," said Lisa. "How long has it been?"

"How long?" Hiyori repeated in a defeated voice as she sat down once again. "I don't know…"

"_That _long?" Lisa said shaking her head. "If you haven't... in 150 years... I... We... Man, we need to get you laid."

The former lieutenant of the twelfth division shook her head and took a large sip of her nearly emptied gin and tonic.

"Seriously, I want to know!" Mashiro said with a bit too much interest. "How long? _150 years_? _Really_?"

"I hate you girls," Hiyori mouthed.

"Oh come on!" the other girls pleaded in chorus.

"I'll stop teasing you for... a month... if you tell us," Liza bargained.

"Ok, fine! But on one condition. If I say, you have to say."

"Sure," Lisa said as she leaned forward to hear the confidential stuff. Good thing Hiyori was wasted or she would have gotten a shoe to her face for asking that question.

"Because of _dear _Ichigo it has been six months." the 'girl' stated.

"Only six months? Because of Ichigo?" Mashiro giggled. "Who was it? You _have _to tell."

Hiyori's eyes shot open and she pierced the green headed girl's wide open ones with her own.

"No one," she said.

"HA!" Lisa said sarcastically.

"What do you mean 'ha'?" Mashiro questioned innocently.

"It is obvious who…" Lisa begun.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Hey, I won't make you tell! Nice confession anyhow," Lisa stated. "And names wasn't in the deal Mashiro... I'm guessing it happened on new years?"

"…And some other times," Hiyori confessed with a blush in a deeper red tone than ripe cherries. "What about you?"

"Last night," Mashiro said dreamingly with a large sigh. "With Kensei."

"Like hell," Hiyori stated. "Ya know, we all sleep in the same room so we would've known. And besides... He can't stand the sight of you."

"… No! We are totally different than... than you and Shinji. It is totally obvious that you hate each other while me and Kensei… that is love below the surface."

"Ya wanna get beaten?" Hiyori threatened. "Ya want a shoe in yer face?"

"What?" Mashiro said confused, showing her sweetest pout. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Ya brat!" Hiyori said, squinting her eyes.

"DON'T FIGHT!" Lisa said.

"She started it!" Mashiro tried.

"Whatever, I'll change the subject to something more... fun," Lisa said. "My last time was this morning, with my _vibrator_."

"…and back to the subject of vibrators," Hiyori said unamused.

"But seriously," Lisa replied. "That has got to be the greatest invention of our time."


End file.
